Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Top Ten Tuesday: Characters I'd Punch

Today's Top Ten Tuesday from The Broke and the Bookish is Top Ten Characters I hate (and would like to punch in the face):

1. Scarlett O'Hara
I hate her as a person, which says a lot for the author that I can hate someone so much who is fictional. She is a very well written character, but selfish and annoying and if I ever knew someone like her in real life, we would not get along well at all.

2. Bella Swan Spoiler
On the complete opposite end of the poll, we have Ms. Swan. I dislike everything she stands for from a feminist perspective, and really a human perspective. People more loquacious than me have extrapolated on her faults, so I will just summarize it: If I ever met her she wouldn't be punched but bitched out, sort of like an angry intervention. "HE DISCONNECTED YOUR CAR!!" etc.

3. Trad
Oh, The Lords of Discipline: the man love, coming of age military novel by Pat Conroy. So Trad is the rich Charlestonian aristocrat who has his flaws. I understand flaws but certain life choices he made seriously made me want to drop kick him. Actually, he would probably beat me up since he is militarily trained, but a swift kick to the nads wouldn't hurt.

4. A wide array of romance novel heroines
I've read my share of romance novels. In fact, I've probably read my share and those five people over there's shares of romance novels. I've read good ones, quite a few in fact, but there are some that just have the most bland, paper cut out heroines that you could probably generate with an online character generator. I couldn't even name them for you they were that forgettable. Suffice it to say that there have be quite a few that I would want to join Jane Austen's Fight Club

5. Romeo and Juliet
Don't get me wrong, I think this is a beautiful love tragedy. Not my favorite of Shakespeare's works, but still not bad. But Romeo and Juliet were whiny teenagers who did it wrong. And when I say "it" I mean life. They didn't think things through and acted too impulsively stupid for me. Hence the punch in the face.

6. Amy March Spoiler
Brat. She is SUCH a brat. I didn't like her at 12 when I first read Little Women, and I don't like her now. I still don't understand how she gets Teddy! Fun fact: When I was younger and watched the movie version (with Christian Bale whom I loved even then) Kirsten Dundst played Amy and I didn't like her as an actress for a while because of it! I know, petty. But I was 12 or younger.

7. Grawp
Really, JK Rowling? What point did he serve? I kept hoping there would be a point. No. Point. I can see what Umbrage was suppose to be (though I guess I would punch her too.. or maybe try to out mind game her), but this was a pointless plot line that really just bumped up word count in Order of the Phoenix. So I guess not a character I hated, but one I thought was pointless.

8. The Cast of Lord of the Flies (except Piggy)
I really hate this book, and I really disliked these kids. And I know the point is to see how we degenerate into savages blah blah blah. I don't like this book, don't like these characters. End of story.

9. Dan Brown
For what he did to Robert Langdon. I really liked him in Angels and Demons, but then he went and killed the magic. I know he are not a character, but I really just want to punch him in the face.

10. Denethor
For what he did to Faramir (who needs a hug) and the whole country (state?) of Gondor. What a little bitch, to be quite frank. I just want to hit him in the face with the palantir.

So there is my list. I bent the rules a bit and got a tad violent, but I mostly get angry with authors for not living up to my expectations. This was actually quite hard because most bad guy characters I understand, think are written really well and would love to have tea with to discuss their motivations and life choices.


  1. ...I kind of love that you put Dan Brown on here. It makes me really happy. :)

  2. Huh, interesting about Grawp...I'd never really thought about it but you're right, he basically serves no point. Also I'm with you on strong dislike of Lord of the Flies - hated that book!

    A Tapestry of Words

  3. Definitely agreeing with you on Bella and Amy March!!

  4. Grawp! What a good choice! I mean I didn't hate him but you bring up a great point and provided a unique answer. Have a great day :)

  5. Ha! Awesome. Re: Bella - GOD YES THE CAR. THAT PISSED ME OFF TO NO END. If I were her, I would have taken the damn bus or walked or something just to prove a point. But of course, if Bella had done that, she wouldn't be so goddamn annoying. Re: Romeo and Juliet - *thumbs up*

    God I forgot about Grawp. Yeah, that whole storyline was just annoying as hell. Padding, padding, padding. Also LOL Dan Brown. His books get more ridiculous with each release. I totally agree with you, Angels and Demons was a really entertaining book, and then...The Da Vinci Code and The Solomon Key. *headdesk*

    Great list!

  6. I wouldn't be friends with Scarlett either, but I enjoy reading about her.
    And Grawp really was annoying and pagefilling (which Rowling obviously doesn't need).
    Denethor is just a really lousy father, I was kinda glad when he died too.

  7. Daisy, I really enjoyed Gone with the Wind. I love the book. Just Scarlett herself makes me mad. Her life choices make me mad. Like the same kind of mad I get when I watch that 16 and Pregnant show.


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